Am I willing to let God do anything with my life?
Am I willing to surrender and hand everything over to God?
These are the questions I have been struggling with for the last few weeks. Questions that I thought I knew the answer to and was doing. But, God has an amazing way of showing me that I still put things before Him.
I started a great bible study by Jennie Allen, Anything; about a month ago thinking that it would be another typical women’s study. I would enjoy it and I was sure I would walk away learning something but, I had no idea that God would ask me to give what I was most fearful of losing.
The first thought that popped into my head was my perfect Sunday school answer, my relationship with Him. I would never want to walk through life without God. But, I kept having this pulling at my heart that there is something God needs me to deal with. Praying over it, He revealed to me that I am putting my husband and kids in line before God. I have a greater fear of losing them than anything else.
I have built up this fear in me over the years. Most people that know me would say, “well, of course you have this fear. Look at the things you have dealt with over the last 6 years.”
This is true. I have had a lot of trials thrown at me. Dealing with the lose of a parent, my husband having cancer, a child hurt, and a friend ending their own life are things that would put fear in anyone’s heart. And, the world that we live in would tell you that you are right to put your family first, your fears are justified, you should hold them close.
Without knowing it, I have not been giving my family over to God. I have been terrified of letting go of the control in fear that I might lose one of them.
God has stirred up a hornet’s nest in me. I don’t have this resolved yet, but I can say that God is helping me face this fear and give it to him. I’m praying daily for God to take this fear from me, to help me put nothing before Him and to show me my heart. (Is it for him?)
Since the day I gave my life to the Lord, I have not felt more free than I do now. God opened my eyes to this fear. I’m thankful everyday for the loving God that we have that he wants to continue to see us grow towards him.
So, my question for you is what is your biggest fear that is keeping you from letting God have control over your life?
What is holding you back from God doing anything in your life?
The safest place is to be loved and accepted by God of the universe because if God is for us, who can be against us? Romans 8:31